New post... new feel... coming May 29, 2013!!!
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Lesson 3: FAQs
Each day, I probably tell a
concise, pre-packaged, interview-style version of my breast cancer experience at least FIVE
times!!! As an educator, this is not new to me and I certainly don’t mind
sharing most of the time, but I figure that I can nip some of it in the bud by
sharing my progress via this blog. I’ve also included some cool links to
websites where more information can be found.
***Please be advised that some
of the images on the websites and in this post are explicit.***
K, here we go… J
Q: What did you have?
A: I was diagnosed on March 23,
2012 with stage 1a high grade, high proliferative, invasive triple negative
mammary carcinoma, or breast cancer. Stage 1a is considered early stage, where
tumors are less than two centimeters and have not spread beyond the breast. High grade means that the cells are
aggressive. High proliferative means
there is fast cell growth rate. Invasive
means that the cancer cells spread beyond the ducts into nearby tissue.
Q: What is triple negative breast
cancer?
A: Triple negative breast cancer diagnosis
means that a tumor is estrogen receptor-negative, progesterone
receptor-negative and HER2-negative, thus giving rise to the name "triple
negative breast cancer." The most
successful treatments for breast cancer target these receptors Because
of its triple negative status, however, triple negative tumors generally do not
respond to receptor targeted treatments. Depending on the stage of its
diagnosis, triple negative breast cancer can be particularly aggressive, and
more likely to recur than other subtypes of breast cancer. This type of breast
cancer is typically responsive to chemotherapy.
Q: Did you feel your tumors?
A: No; I had two tumors in my right breast, and even up
until the day of my surgery, I could feel neither of them.
Q: How did you find out?
A: In February, I went to my doctor to discuss and schedule
a preventative bilateral mastectomy, due to my family history of breast cancer
and my BRCA-1 positive gene mutation status. After a series of clear mammograms
and ultrasounds, my nurse practitioner suggested that I have an MRI as an extra
precaution. Thankfully, my two tumors were detected through the MRI. The diagnosis
was confirmed through ultrasound and a biopsy, and I was notified days later.
Q: What were your options for treatment?
A: Due to the stage and type of breast cancer, surgery and
chemotherapy make up my treatment regime. I opted for a modified radical mastectomy on my right side and prophylactic, or preventative simple mastectomy
on my left. This means that both of my breasts were totally removed (breast
tissue, skin, etc), in addition to my axillary sentinel lymph nodes on my right
side. My sentinel lymph nodes were removed so that they could be examined to
see if my cancer had spread.
Q: Why did you decide to remove both breasts if cancer was
just on one side?
A: Because of my continued risk associated with my gene
mutation and family history, I decided to take the most preventative measure
possible. Plus, I had already planned to have a bilateral mastectomy even
before my diagnosis. I made the decision to have the bilateral mastectomy at
the time of my diagnosis when I could be sure that both breast removals and
subsequent reconstructive surgery would be covered by my insurance.
Q: What was surgery like?
A: I was diagnosed on March 23, and my surgery was scheduled
for April 30. Sean and my best friend Benita were with me the morning of
surgery while my kids were in school. There were three parts to my surgery: 1)
axillary sentinel lymph node removal; 2) Chemotherapy port implantation and
breast removal; and 3) tissue expander implantation. All I remember is dapping
them up (I think J)
and then waking up to some pretty crazy chest pains.
Q: What was recovery like?
A: Pretty intense pain and restricted movement for two
weeks. Also, I had to take care of two surgical drains that came out the sides
of my torso. Biggest bummer = not being able to hold my babies.
Q: So you are telling me you had no boobs at all?
A: Nada. The goal was to remove as much breast tissue as
possible. Therefore, all skin, nipples, breast tissue, etc. were removed. I was
left with what looked like baseball stitches across my chest.
Q: ***blink, blink*** No boobs?
A: During my surgery, I also underwent the first phase of my
reconstructive surgery. I had tissue expanders implanted under my chest muscle
wall. Tissue expanders are like little balloons that are placed under a layer
of chest muscle. Over the months following the surgery, saline is injected
bi-weekly into the expanders so that my chest muscle stretches to form a
cavity. The tissue expanders will eventually be replaced with silicone
implants. A perk (pun intended) = these tissue expanders don’t move and are as
hard as rocks right now ***burns bras***
Q: And nipples?
A: Prosthetic nipples can be implanted down the road. A
skilled tattoo artist will also come in handy J
Q: Sooooo, do you or will you have the “feeling” of breasts?
A: Nope! But, I will be alive and well, and that is winning
in my book!
Q: How is chemotherapy going?
A: Chemo sucks! There is no more eloquent way to put it! But,
I am thankful for the treatment and for what it is supposed to be doing for my
body.
Q: Why do you have to have chemotherapy is the cancer is
already removed from your body?
A: I ask myself this question every day! But here are the nuts
and bolts… My continued risk of getting cancer is 25% without chemotherapy and
only about 5% with it within my lifetime. Having a gene mutation pretty much
means each cell in my body is constantly deciding IF and WHEN to give me
cancer. Chemotherapy helps to change “the minds” of my cells.
Q: What is chemotherapy like?
A: Chemotherapy affects many folks in different ways. I have
personally experienced the nausea, fatigue, hair loss, tingling hands and feet,
and change in taste and appetite that was described to me. In addition to some
revolutionary nausea medications (folks used to have to be hospitalized after
infusions), slow walks, good music, and Subway sandwiches help with some of the
side effects of chemo.
Q: How long will you have chemo?
A: I have been prescribed five months of chemotherapy – 4 biweekly
cycles of “the nasties”, followed by 12 cycles of “a lesser nasty”. Two nasties
down, two more to go!
Lesson 2: Back to the Basics
“Seven Reasons
to be Grateful with Breast Cancer…”
“Life has been a whirlwind since my last
post. I've gone to countless appointments with teams of doctors to discuss and
decide my course of action. I have met with my professors, supervisors, and
colleagues to determine how I will proceed through my program…”
Yada
yada ya. All true, but this is not all there is to my story.
These
are some of the beginnings of blog posts that I have started and not completed
over the past couple months. However as much as I had wanted to journal, I had
not written down a single word beyond my first post that I felt confident and
comfortable sharing with the digital world – permanently. This blog post is an attempt to get back to my story.
My
initial goal of my blog was to chronicle the details of my life as I pursued a
Ph.D. I thought that this would change after my breast cancer diagnosis. But
since that day, I have spent quite a bit of time trying to make sense of my
experience and to plan my response to it. I have evaluated everything that I
have experienced and been privy to over the course of my life – my opportunities,
privileges, challenges, relationships, responsibilities, decisions – trying to
trace how I got to this place of transition and trying to plot how I can move
from it.
In
terms of sharing my experience with others, I pondered what aspects of this
experience I would be willing and able to share. I asked myself, how do I
represent my own experience? How and when do I encourage others? When do I tell
the truth, and when should I stay silent? What things are important?
As
of now, I’m still working on these answers! What I do know is that I have A
story to tell. And this post is what I needed to pull me out of my writer’s
block and break the ice. J
Sip with me.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Lesson 1: The TEST
So, I created this blog months ago with hopes of sharing my experiences of all the ups and downs of my process towards earning a Ph.D. In August 2011, my family and I moved to Nashville, TN so that I can start graduate studies at Vanderbilt University. I was ecstatic to be enrolled at the prestigious Peabody College, laced with leaves of ivy and resonant of some of the world's most groundbreaking scholarship and research. My program of choice was Community, Research, and Action - a dream come true! I felt that God had placed us in a space where my work, my passions, and even a ministry would intersect. Yaaaassss!
Since starting school, my family and I have undergone a massive transition in order to accommodate my new academic lifestyle. From my husband's job search and acculturating my kids to the new environment to my difficulty grasping a different discipline and brand new type of science, Lord knows we struggled! Over two semesters, I have tried to hone in on the right moment to start sharing my experiences. After reading about Marx's manifesto, Pat Hill Collins' Black feminist paradigm, and more of Babbie's text than I could ever truly take in, I still did not feel that there was a right time, place, or space to write about that could sum up the beginning of my experience.
...Not until last Friday, March 23, 2012. Last Friday, I was gifted a revelation that made sense out of all that I have learned so far in the program, and moreover, in life.
On that day, I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
Whoa.
I was amazed, shocked, relieved, and grateful all at the same time as I listened to my doctor over the phone. As always, my Hubs was by my side as we sat having lunch in a parking lot.
My rock :)
This news had come after months - no, years - of careful planning. As many of you know, I have many She-roes that have blazed the trail in terms of Breast Cancer Survivorship. Two of my She-roes are my sisters, Prisana and Lasana, who are both BC survivors that were diagnosed in their 20's. Their valiant fight inspired me to dig deeper into my health history and I found that I have the BRCA-1 breast cancer gene mutation. My Hubs and I decided to finish our family planning with the birth of my 3rd cuddlebug, Kohl Wynton, so that I could focus on preventive measures.
My intent to curtail my BC risk led me to Vanderbilt Hospital in February, and after many, many mammograms, ultrasounds, MRIs, and biopsies, I received this news. And my world has since turned upside down. Everything that once seemed so important became secondary - tertiary even - to what lies ahead.
So, now, after some R&R, I have my moment - or my thesis statement, if you will. Folks always say, at the end of a test is a testimony. Well, I say, this... this beginning point of my TEST shall also be the beginning of my TESTimony. The purpose of this blog is now to share and discuss my travails through graduate school - God willing - as I pursue my doctorate at Vandy, and my Ph.D. in LIFE. It is my belief that experience is one of the greatest teachers. I invite you to share in my experiences, and perhaps, find a lesson or contribute something to be learned. Sip with me :)
Ph.D. & Tea
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